Wow. I also think children are closer to Source than adults. As we grow up — most of us grow away from The Universe. We struggle our whole lives trying to find our way back. Kids just seem to trust their lives on a primal level. But on death and dying — as a nurse — and a parent in a hospital who grieved with other parents whose children died — understanding death is a complicated matter.

There is no rhyme or reason to it. Some people recover — even spontaneously. They chose life — like you have — and it works. Others fight — and recover through conventional medicine. Others still will fight the good fight with all their heart and become exhausted at then end and death will call for them. I’ve seen people recover who shouldn’t have from all manner of things — diseases & accidents. I’ve seen people die who shouldn’t have — literally as they were being wheeled out the door being discharged to their homes.

I long ago decided — Death has it’s own timetable and mere mortals are not privey to it. A lot Native Americans were spiritual people and according to their practices were in tune enough with their body & spirits — they knew when death would come and act accordingly.

In my career as an ICU nurse — death was a nearly daily occurrence in my unit. Major Trauma center and all. You became more curious about it as you became more exposed to it. And you realized we all end up there.

With my own child — in the course of her surgeries (there were several for complications after her transplant), she had one particular where she was hemmorhaging and had to be taken back to the OR emergently. She told us after the fact that in the elevator going to the OR — her vision narrowed and she saw the tunnel. No doctor ever told us if she had to be rescuitated or not. I knew she had stood on the line — and chose to come back. That she had felt our love for her, our will for her to live — and decided to stay.

The same way you willed your daughter back to you.

And again — not to negate the experiences of parents who have lost children, I believe sometimes there might be a choice — an option offered and other times — it is just done. With Death — you just don’t know.

Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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