It counts as a holiday. Or at least it did back then when I was seeking male companionship. You see — I was ‘in a relationship’. It was post-divorce and we had bought a place and were tooling along just fine.
I had made it quite clear from the start — I didn’t want to remarry. At least I thought I had. But then, he had started drinking by that fateful Valentine’s Day and I had stopped arguing with him because as we all know — that just pisses them off more.
The Ugly Drunks with their brown liquor. So perhaps he misunderstood my silence on the topic as agreement. Or perhaps I was hoping he wouldn’t remember pushing the subject in his drunken rants.
But either way. Come Valentine’s Day, at one of the most expensive restaurants in town, on bended knee he went. And out came a beautiful ring.
The entire place had eyes on me.
So I said — yes — because I am not really a bitch and was not going to emasculate the man in public.
But we were certainly going to have a chat about this later.
And chat we did. Or I did. Then he raved. Then I had a panic attack. And the whole thing deteriorated into THE FIGHT which would lead to the final straw a month or so later. And The End. The Blessed End of the whole damn thing.
The ‘engagement’ if you want to call it lasted about 72 hours. I was fine with being engaged — we could keep doing what we doing — with better jewelry. As long as he understood — there was no way in hell I was getting married again.
That was not what he wanted. It was all or nothing. So — as soon as the deed and mortgage could be transferred to my name alone — he was gone.
Of all the holidays in the whole of the calendar. Valentine’s Day is my least favorite. I’ve had two pets die on Valentine’s Day. There was said disastrous dinner and I also had a man dump via text on Valentine’s Day morning. Before coffee. At 8 am.
I am The Charlie Brown of Valentine’s Day.
So to switch up that mojo several years ago — I started getting tattoos on Valentine’s Day. It helped a lot. No pet has died, and no man has dumped me or proposed to me on Valentine’s Day since. There has only been Peace.
You just can’t make this stuff up.