Unlearning

Ann Litts
4 min readJul 18, 2020

Recognizing what not to do

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

If you’ve been reading my stuff, you’ve probably heard this before:

Anger is the cover story. It’s never The Thing.

Most of the time anger is what we put out so that other Humans don’t realize how scared shitless we are. Rather like a primitive self-defense mechanism to back down any would-be physical threats.

Think hackles and growls in the canine world, the bloat of a pufferfish, the rattle of a viper — nature is full of examples of Her creations who give off visual and audio warnings to those nearby when they feel threatened and afraid.

Enter Humanity. With our Id and our complex emotional baggage. On a good day, we hide our Real Feelings — even the ‘good ones’ under layers of bullshit. And we do it so well many times we can’t even figure out what we are feeling. Love and joy get deep-sixed as easily as fear and loathing.

We are taught from an early age not to express emotions. Not to ‘feel’. Not to appear ‘weak’. Even though women get a bit more of a buy on this than men — we are still warned not to look like ‘prey’ in public places.

So. We hide All. The. Things.

And fear turns to something that looks just like anger. Or worse — rage when we are completely freaked out and scared to death.

My Life Lesson this week has been just that. A walk through an emotional labyrinth with a visit to a whole slew of emotions I had no intention of even recognizing — let alone feeling.

The Great Good Gift of My Life is that I am surrounded by other Humans who are empaths. Feeling the feelings is their superpower. They have been placed in My Life specifically to guide me past my obstacles and to help me see it’s ok to be laid low by pain, fear, uncertainty, disappointment.

I don’t need to have my shit together 100% of the time. Life won’t allow that anyway.

My job is to recognize when I’m using cover stories for my true emotions. I can say to myself — I’m pissed as hell — but if I dig deeper I can find roots of the emotions. I’m not so much pissed as I am frightened, disappointed, guarded.

And those emotions are the ones that need to come through. They are the emotions that need to be…

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