In a very short time I will be leaving my current position and starting all over — at the bottom of a new food chain in a new department. Completely new career trajectory because Life is about change.
So for these last couple weeks — I’m rather a Lame Duck here in my current position. I’ve done what was required of me and taught an incredibly bright and gifted nurse how to do what I do and she’s amazing. I’m just kind of hanging out waiting for that final clock out to get here.
Having time to ponder — I’m left wondering about goodbyes and the way the people I’m leaving might remember me, should the mood strike them.
We all want to leave behind us a positive legacy. We want people to think kindly of us, our memory. We want to know what we did was important somehow to someone. We want to know we made an impact with the blood, sweat, and tears we shed.
Will we be remembered for our finest hour? Or will we be remembered for the times we stumbled?
The human mind is programmed to remember negative events more accurately — according to Andrea Thompson and her article “Bad Memories Stick Better Than Good” from LiveScience. And that is rather a bummer when you ponder it.
Of course, if you think about the way you view your own behavior you immediately understand this phenomenon. We are forever beating ourselves up for the 1% of the time we dropped the ball and completely brushing off the other 99% of the time we nailed it when it comes to our Now. We use a fine tooth comb to find all the errors in our lives and paint with a wide brush to play down our accomplishments.
When it should work the other way around.
Think of a world where people looked at their lives in wonder of all the good things they had accomplished — instead of focusing on all the times they fell short. Then they turned that same lens outward with kindness and compassion toward each other and on the world.
We would see every life has value. We would see in each other the potential, the possibilities, the visions of what the future could be. We would no longer hold ourselves or each other back with the dark cloud of doubt. We would soar.
I hope my co-workers remember the times I was there for them and our patients. I hope they forgive me for the times I was not. I hope they understand how truly outstanding they are as nurses, techs, and humans. And know that I will remember my time spent with them as some of the best days of my career.