The Magic Potion

I wonder what our relationship might have been like had she lived past 55? I wonder if while going through those horrible years of teenage angst I might have found a way to become a whole person easier in her presence? I wonder what it would feel like not to have a hole in the center of my being where her love used to live?
I wonder if the abandoned child inside of me will ever feel comforted? I wonder if I will ever completely heal…