I bought a mirror.
It was a homework assignment from years past that my therapist gave me. Go out into the world — find a beautiful mirror — hang it in your home — look at yourself in it every day. See Real Ann. The Real Ann people who love you see.
Because other than the mirrors over my bathroom sinks — I had no mirrors in my home. I never have. I don’t decorate with mirrors. When I was in therapy the running joke was this: I was a vampire — passing as a human. So there was no need for mirrors as I didn’t have a reflection.
My therapist appreciated my sense of humor and then gave me the above-mentioned homework assignment. It has taken me over 4 years to complete it.
We grow accustomed to our own images over time. The face we see in the mirror as we comb our hair or brush our teeth at the end of the day. However, we don’t really see ourselves anymore at some point in time. We become blind to who we are.
We don’t see ourselves in the selfies we take our photos with our friends and family. I tend to remember the event and the joy associated with the date/time/place and not really see myself then either.
When we do — as my therapist instructed — pause a moment in our Lives and look at who we really are — take a hard gander at our faces — really SEE ourselves — with love and kindness and compassion (because those instructions were in the assignment as well), we see a different view of our Life. Our Own True Selves.
Mornings when I look in The Magic Mirror at my reflection — I see the face my daughters call Mom and my granddaughters call Nana. Whatever else might be playing in the background of my brain — I know this face belongs to a woman who is loved and needed by five of the most Magical Beings on the planet.
I look at myself with the same eyes I look at my friends — for the face in The Magic Mirror is slowly becoming a friend. My eyes not only looking out — but now looking back at her with the kindness they extend to all the women I love.
When my therapist first brought up this homework assignment — he wanted me to start looking at myself in the same manner my family and friends look at me. To see me as they see me — as they are not privy to The Voices who haunt me and second guess My Reality. Turn off my Inner Critic and just Look at myself with Love and Compassion
I considered this and believed it to be an exercise in futility. Because my Inner Critic along with all The Voices is a very vocal group — just sayin’. However, never underestimate The Magic which can be held in a Magic Mirror.
The Magic Mirror has indeed managed to quiet all The Voices — Inner Critic included — for a time each morning. I have not gone so far as to chant “Mirror Mirror on the wall” to it each morning and likely won’t — but it has begun to show me the bits and pieces of myself those who love me find each time they look at my face. The Good Stuff which shines out from me into The World each day.
And that makes it a truly Magic Mirror.