Somehow across time they find you. In my life, I’ve met three.
These are people who simple refuse to like you. No even worse, they really dislike you for no apparent reason. You can try and try to no end. They will never find you or your company in any way, shape, or form acceptable.
I swear you could rescue their child from a burning building or give their dog CPR and it wouldn’t matter. They would find something in your manner or your motives suspect. It’s the weirdest damn thing.
With the first two who came through my life, I tried in the worst way to establish some sort of relationship. Some kind of detante. We were forced into each other’s lives by circumstances beyond our control. We would be seeing each other on a regular. There was no getting around it. I was determined to make it pleasant.
But it was no use. They mistook my overtures of kindnesses and friendship as signs of weakness and it simply irritated them even more. There was no winning.
Now I’m older, wiser. So when the third horseman of my personal apocalypse showed up, I was more prepared. I didn’t even try. I looked into the steely disapproving gaze he gave me, I listened to his condescending tone, I suffered his sarcastic abuse and I knew — there was no sense wasting my energy.
And there is a fuck of a lot of freedom in that, let me tell you. When you realize that other humans are the ones solely responsible for their own feelings — NOT YOU — holy cow! What a great sensation!
And that’s a gift. An amazing real gift. Perhaps that was the lesson all along I was supposed to be learning. The very reason I was faced with people who would gladly dance on my grave.
To teach me it’s not really important at all what other people think of you. The only important thing is what you think of yourself. Because some people are going to love you no matter what. They are simply going to adore you — every little thing about you. On the flip side of that will be your horsemen of the apocalypse. Nothing about you will be right. Then it will dawn on you — it has never been about you. It has always been about them.
You get to just be you. You can’t make people like you. But the good news is — the ones that do — really do