One day I just got tired of it. So I stopped doing it. You all know what I’m talking about here.
It’s that song and dance we do whenever we’re around other Humans and we attempt to bend ourselves into someone they will find acceptable.
Maybe it’s an old friend and we find ourselves at odds on important issues because we’ve both done some growing over the years. Now there’s a canyon between you and you’re the only one who is working on building a bridge back to each other.
Maybe it’s a new relationship and we’re putting on our best face, trying hard to be our best self. You know? Not using four-letter words every other sentence.
Okay, maybe that’s just me.
Either way — you’re busting your ass to be someone you are not. You’re working really hard to fit into a box that is uncomfortable as hell. You are reaching out to meet someone on their turf — all this unfamiliar territory to prove what stellar friend/significant other/spouse/co-worker/sibling/child you truly are. Or potential friend/significant other/spouse/co-worker you would be — given the chance.
You are auditioning to be part of another Human’s life.
You are handing them the power to validate you. You are letting them curate you, edit you, define you.
Even if you do it unconsciously, as so many of us do, it’s bullshit. We will react, change our demeanor, become quiet, put on our party persona, tone down our magic — you name it. There a thousand ways we alter who we are according to who is standing next to us.
And don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about being appropriate in a meeting with your boss. I’m talking about shapeshifting who you really are as a Human to be accepted by the other Humans surrounding you.
Auditioning to ‘belong’ in their world, instead of living in your own.
Because when we keep trying to belong to the people and places we don’t fit into we are inherently uncomfortable. Round pegs in square holes. It’s only when we give up this practice and relax into our own lives do we find ourselves.
Once we Become who we really are, a shift takes place. We find joy. The vibe from our true selves attracts Humans we are compatible with, who see us as ourselves, who can love us where we stand without auditions or curation.
Life becomes so much more comfortable.
Put away the masks, the make-up, the pick-up lines, and the fake personas. Stop auditioning for bit parts in other Human’s lives. Take center stage in Your Own Life. Live Your Life as Real You.