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I started writing here nearly a year ago. I don’t know how it is for other people who post here, but for me, I feel compelled to take what goes on in my head and put it down in black and white. In the words of The Blues Brothers, I’m “…on a mission from God.” At least that’s what it feels like some days. Minus the full tank of gas and cigarettes, of course.

So I write. I trust the words I put out — The Universe will take to whoever needs to read them. Whatever that process is. It’s the internet. One knows everything on the net gets passed around like good reefer at a Buffet concert.

So be it. Once I hit publish, I am no longer in control. The Universe is.

Ironically — what I found was the more I wrote, the better I became at ‘humaning’. My inner voice wasn’t just talking to the people ‘out there’ — She was talking to me too and for once I started listening. My Real Life improved. I found Real Ann.

I know I was lead to Medium specifically — again, for my own benefit and less for what I had to share. Some of the most brillant, lovely things I have ever read — some of the most glorious, tender moments captured in photos — I have found here. As with all things — it’s the people who are the gifts in our lives. I feel as though some of the authors here have become virtual ‘friends’. I am profoundly blessed by their wisdom and their fellowship.

I didn’t start out intending to write for other people. This exercise began as an expansion of my journaling. It’s cathartic and feeds my soul. I would do this if I had no followers, no claps, no responses. It is a virtual legacy of who I am, what I believe, lessons I’ve learned — left behind for my family to have. I would love to have something of that nature from my mother, grandmother or great grandmother to know who my ancestor was. Who she really, really was.

So — I just write. The message goes where it will. I know I have no control. Control is an illusion, a bedtime story we tell ourselves at night to help us sleep better. Faith is a much better companion.

Faith that all events, circumstances, and people in your life are lessons. Your only job is get up every morning and be yourself. To listen carefully to your inner voice and follow what you know to be your truth. Be Real.

Love is always the answer. It doesn’t matter what the question is. If you want peace in your days, you must love. The Universe has a way of sorting out the shit storms of life, if we let go and let Her do Her thing.

I often think, “If I ran the world — this atrocity or that atrocity (fill in the blank) would simply not be!”. But like The Butterfly Effect, humans do not have the whole picture. We don’t know the cosmic links in the chain or the whys. We never will this side of Death.

We can call that grand lesson — acceptance, grace, faith… any number of names. But the bottom line requires us to let go of any kind of anticipated outcome of our actions. Or of any thing. And of EVERY THING. All. The. Things.

Whatever we do, we do with the knowing — we are doing what we should be doing. Whether it’s writing, or nursing, or taking photographs, or making art, or encouraging our friends in their endeavors. We do what we are compelled to do by love.

We are anonymous donors of our talents. And as with all gifts, anonymous and otherwise, it’s the thought (read — love) that counts. The Good Samaritan — though nameless — lives on as the example of the way to conduct your life.

The Universe always knows what is in one’s heart.

Namaste.

Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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