Photo by Leon Biss on Unsplash

I never have been a morning person. Ironic since I have always worked day shift as a nurse. Days are my primary shift, but any nurse will tell you, that doesn’t really mean jack. Day shift is your ‘anchor’ shift, you still will get rotated to nights. And have to take call. And work weekends and holidays.

But mostly it means being at work at 7 AM. I’ve done that for over twenty three years now. The Universe has a great sense of humor.

Before I was a nurse, when I was raising a family, all three of the humans who lived with me were morning people. My ex-husband never even needed an alarm clock to get up. We set one so I would get out of bed, but he’d be happily half way through his morning routine by then. Smiling. Of all the fucking nerve!

My kids inherited those genes. I would drag myself out to the kitchen to find my older daughter sitting on the couch looking out our picture window pointing to the sunrise. Her eyes in awe as she told me, “Look Mommy! Sunshine come out!!”

Her sister would toddle out shortly there after and the two of them would gaze in wonder as a new day dawned and listen enraptured to the concert of birds who sang with such joy at the miracle of the morning which had arrived.

My grand children sleep in a bit better than their mother and aunt did. However, my middle grand daughter will take note of wherever I’m sleeping when I stay over at her house. Then shortly before dawn, I will wake up to her standing close to me — her own internal alarm clock having gone off — as she waits for me to pull back the covers and invite her in to bed for snuggle time.

Those mornings with my grand daughter, I don’t usually fall back asleep. I just lay there and hold her, breathing in the softness and warm child smell of her. It’s not often you get to hold a five year old, they are hardly ever still at that age, so I stay awake and commit to memory as many parts of these moments as I can. She’ll fall back sleep and I’ll listen to her even breathing — music to my ears.

What I pondered this morning when I woke up very well rested to bright sunshine in my bedroom was this — all my ‘nows’ have been pretty amazing in their own right. No matter what sleep pattern was happening.

Today, I have a good job. And that is a blessing even when the alarm goes off at O’Dark Thirty. Saturday and Sunday are sacred sleep in mornings and are a delight! I have wonderful memories of raising my kids and the life I had as a stay-at-home-mom when they were little. In spite of the fact I was sorely out numbered by the ever cheerful Morning People.

And a most lovely gift — the memories I am making with my grandchildren. I hope when they tell the stories of their lives they hold some affection for the role Real Nana played.

Because time marches on. And ‘now’ never stays ‘now’ for very long.

“Things fall away and other things become very clear to you that weren’t clear to you when you were younger.” The Divine Miss M.


Wisdom And Song

Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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