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Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash

The things I do — I know why I do many of them. It was because I was told as a child — I could not do them.

So yeah — fuck you — I’m going to do them.

Where does your Rebel streak lie?

For instance — do you drink milk right out of the carton? Yeah — I know… it’s awesome.

Do you eat ice cream as an entree? As many scoops as you want? I love adulthood!!!

The voice function on my GPS is turned OFF. As adults — we don’t have to put up with people telling us what to — where to go — or how to get there. Who’s with me?!

When you set the table do you put ALL the silver on the same side of the plate? I literally stick my tongue out at every adult female in my family when I do this — it feels SO good!

Early to bed — early to rise? Oh hell no! I have found I can exist on about six hours of sleep — bedtime is a suggestion, not a rule! And sleeping in to whenever the coffee calls my name is the best part of waking up! Sleep or don’t sleep — it’s all YOU!

Did you know? You don’t have to wash your jeans every damn time you wear them. How about that? In fact, Levi’s and Lucky Brand recommend you only wash them sparingly. Oh yeah — My Aunt Blanche is not happy about this development at all — I’m sure she’s got a complaint in at the ‘Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness Department’ just to the left of the Pearly Gates.

You don’t have to back into a parking place. You can pull in. Or you can choose to back in. Or you can be an asshole and take up two. It’s all GOOD! Your father is no longer there to critic your parking skills — can I get an AMEN?!?!

I love mashed potatoes. A lot. I can now eat all the mashes potatoes that I want. I can solely eat JUST mashed potatoes for any meal in which they are served. I can order them when I go out to eat — just them. You can do that as an adult — you can eat and/or order any food you want, in any quantity you want and NO ONE is going to give you any shit about it as long as you pay your tab at the end of your meal. No one is going to tell you that you have to finish your beans before you can have seconds on your god damned mashed potatoes. No one. True story.

Oh, the shit we can get away with now that we are grown-ups!!!!

Living by your own rules is the best part of adulting. Well, sort of adulting — I do eat ice cream for breakfast so I’m not sure if I actually qualify as an adult.

Namaste.

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Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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