Dictionary.com defines perspective as such: “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”
It sounds rather benign doesn’t it?
How about when an abuser’s perspective of his abuse and your perspective of his abuse are different? When he breaks out the gas lights and the powers that be in the food chain buy into his perspective?
The Old Jedi Mind Trick… these are not the words of condescension, abuse, or disrespect here. Nope. Nope. Nope. Just keep right on moving along.
It is especially traumatic when the people entrusted to guard the flock, to stand between the powerful and the less so — paint the abused as emotionally weak or damaged because one of said flock has called “Foul!” on those who do not play by the rules of a compassionate society.
It happens all the time. There is no benevolence shown in the Real World for a so labeled Scape Goat, the Weak Link. The Herd will allow them to be culled and be grateful the Predator has a victim to amuse themselves with. They will enable the process and deny safe harbor to said Weak Link and court the good graces of those in power.
There was a story a while back in The NY Times —regarding a famous sneaker company and the legendary, decades of corporate sponsored abuse women who had the balls to work there suffered through. What fucking nerve those women had! To imagine some one sporting a vagina could manage to be qualified to work in an international company at an executive level. How ludicrous!
I mean — really? Because that NEVER happens. (Insert eye roll emjoi here).
And yet — the encouragement of this phenomenon, to use perspective and wield it as a weapon against anyone defined as ‘other’ in our culture is a very popular gig. Sadly it’s not just sneakers and it certainly isn’t front page NY Times kind of news.
Pretty much any woman will tell you , “Dude — this is my life. My day to day existence. Welcome to my fucking world.”
It is so commonplace women are trained, unconsciously groomed by our society in ways to defend themselves. By body language, attire, attitude, and even education — because you may not have any one else’s perspective at your back to save you if push came to shove in a showdown.
My perspective is this — in 2018 — women make money (granted, still only 0.82 cents to a man’s $1.00 per Google — but still money). Disposable cash. We are athletes and consumers. Professional consumers. News flash guys. You want our business, it’s past time you let us in the game. Don’t be assholes. It’s not that hard.
Just Do It.