Of Demons & Angels

The struggle is real

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Photo by Christian Holzinger on Unsplash

Relationships can be difficult under the best of circumstances. Under the most advantageous conditions. They grow. They flourish. They nurture us. They bring us a seemingly endless supply of comfort and endorphins.

But These Days are not the best of circumstances.

I have noticed within my own experience one of two things seems to be happening to my relationships.

They deepen or they fracture.

The relationships where I can be All. The. Things — The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly bits of myself — those relationships seem to have the bandwidth to grow rather than implode. Because in These Days, none of us have the abilities we used to have to hold our filters firmly in place. Our pain, our frustrations, our fears will seep out into our Now without warning. Sometimes bleeding all over the Humans who have the poor luck to be in the vicinity.

You will see changes in yourself and those around you. All of us are getting down to our bare bones. Emotionally, spiritually, and financially. We cannot tolerate any more laid upon us. And we play emotional Russian Roulette every single day. No one knows which tiny straw will be the one that brings an eruption.

But erupt we will. Or our friends will. Or our families will. Or our neighbors.

And it will seem like it was over nothing.

But it wasn’t. It was the 20,000 other nothings which came before. It was the dance our demons and our angels have been dancing together for the last two months that made our best selves sit this one out and cry, “Uncle!”

A good friend of mine, Kristen, told me Humans need twelve hugs a day to be healthy and well balanced. We all know how far below our deficit we are. I just did my math — I’m in the negative by a good 1000 hugs. The need to be touched is how Humanity is wired. And to save each other — we are going completely against this programming.

The physical, mental, and emotional toll is vast.

And yet, through all of this — many of my relationships are thriving and growing stronger. My Best Friend and I were discussing how fortunate we are to be able to communicate electronically. Our relationship not only is weathering COVID but has sunk deeper roots into both of our lives. My relationships within my family — my kids, my grandchildren, and my sister have grown as well. Because I’m not ‘seeing’ them — I’m chatting or texting with them more often. We are in each other’s day to day existence now on a here-to-for unknown level.

In These Days when everyone is struggling with All. The. Things. and just surviving is an issue for many, know that everyone — Every. Single. Human. — is also feeling the pressure. Each of us in our way. With our own demons and angels. Humans are pack animals. With COVID we have all been forced to become Lone Wolves.

Remember that the next time someone snarls and snaps at you.

Namaste.

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