My best advice - never disagree with a middle aged woman who is drinking heavily. There's a whole well of ugly at the bottom of that hole of self pity she's digging (with the gal pals) and all. They don't really want anyone else at their party. You did the right thing and the courageous man who had dated her dodged a huge bullet. He did the right thing too. Sometimes - as you well know- you just have to let people be wrong. Send some good mojo out for this courageous man - high five him in your heart. May he find a partner who truly values him and loves him for his Real Self. <3