How to build a family
I just returned home from a week at the beach with ALL SEVEN members of my family. Both daughters — both sons-in-law — all three Magical Creatures.
It was All. The. Things.
And I do mean ALL of them. There was joy and fun and love everywhere. There was also hard work, arguments, and not enough sleep! Because that is what families are made of.
We like to look at our vacation photos and only remember the smiles. But if you go anywhere with siblings — you will also have moments of feet stomping and tempers flaring.
Because family is (or should be) our safe zone. The Humans we share DNA with are (or should be) Our People. The ones we can relax with, be ourselves with, and let all pretense go.
My family of origin did not feel this way. But the family I built from scratch is full of completely wonderful, imperfectly perfect Humans. Each and every one of them a gift.
As we get older — hopefully we can be thankful for all the experiences we had as spouses and parents. In doing so — perhaps we can even begin to forgive our own parents — or the spouse who became an ex-spouse — for their Humanity.
And also forgive ourselves.
Because Voltaire was 100% correct when he said, “Perfect is the enemy of good.”
Perfect families are a myth.
But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate the imperfectness of Life. And each other.
I feel blessed each time I am with my children. They have grown into every single thing I had hoped they would be — each finding their potential and tapping into it. The world is a better place because my daughters exist.
I feel blessed each time I am with my sons-in-law. Loving and full of fun — having ‘sons’ is an entirely new and exciting experience for this Mother of Daughters. They balance my daughters’ energy completely. They treat me as a cross between friend and mother. I cherish my relationships with them.
I feel blessed each time I am with my granddaughters. The Magical Creatures are The Reason I am here. I am someone who loves them simply because they exist. Nothing more required. I will love them no matter how much sugar they’ve ingested or how mad at their sister they may be. I will never try to change them. I will love them as they are with all my heart — forever.
When I spend time with my family, I see Humans who respect Life and each other. I see Forgiveness given over and over again. I see children awash in a sea of Love — secure in the arms of their parents, aunt, uncle, grandmother. I see small bits and pieces of my DNA twisted and blended into new and improved versions.
I see the future.