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This is really hard for me. I know I’m doing a bit better, but I still have a long way to go. But that’s the way it usually works, doesn’t it? New skills, new thought patterns, new habits — they take time. And sometimes we have to just allow ourselves time.
But I find it’s easier these days to simply listen.
I no longer offer unsolicited advice. Not even to those closest to me. I wait to be asked for an opinion. That’s really hard for me, especially when it comes to the Humans I love and their health issues. I was a nurse for most of my adult life — I know stuff. Stuff that could make the way easier for the Humans I care about. But, often as not, they’d rather sort it out themselves.
And I have learned to sit on the sidelines and watch. Sometimes it’s quite painful to just watch. But like a butterfly struggling to get out of its chrysalis — the struggle builds strength and resiliency. And both of those character traits are vital to a life well-lived.
I have learned, over the years, that most Humans don’t want to be fixed. They want to be heard. That’s all — simply heard. And let me tell you, it’s completely agonizing for the caregivers among us to just listen without intervention or advice. But by giving those we love what they need — a sympathetic ear — we help more than we can ever…
