Doesn’t Mean You Should.
On Friday North Carolina officially entered Phase 2 of its reopening plan. And before anyone out there loses their shit on me — let me just say — I understand completely. People need to go back to work. No one can survive on the pittance unemployment wages this state hands out. Even IF you were ‘lucky’ enough to qualify and receive it. One of my best friends told me last night — her small business did not qualify her for unemployment but she did apply for another program which she would get a max of $132/week. She owns her own massage therapy business. She can make more than that giving one 90 minute massage. It’s a complete insult. Oh — and even though she applied in March — her application is still “under review” and she hasn’t actually been approved or received a dime.
So I get it. No one can survive on what the government is offering. It’s a fucking slap in the face as they live in their mansions with full healthcare and staff and housekeepers and drivers and valets and shit.
However, this is what few Humans have considered. Stay with me for a second before you get all bent out of shape, promise me — okay?
Who is going to go out to the open businesses?
I’m thinking perhaps some of those bored and brave under-thirty-year-olds. Those immortal souls among us who have had it up to here with being isolated and figure they aren’t gonna die of this shit anyway — so what the hell?
But the rest of us…all of the Humans who have been more or less safely self-isolated, working from home — will remain there. Over the course of the last two months we have sorted it out. We are working — getting our paychecks — making Zoom and porch dates with our Tribes — shopping on-line and using delivery services (Goddess Bless You Instacart shoppers!) and we are not about to have suffered all of that shit in vain.
We are smart enough to realize our risk is not gone simply because our governor used his magic pen on a proclamation. He is not Harry Potter. He can not wield that thing like a magic wand and throw a Patronus spell over the state.
Many of us are over fifty. In North Carolina, ninety-six percent of the Humans who died due to COVID were fifty-years of age or older. NINETY-SIX PERCENT. If you are over fifty and you stroll about the state in carefree disregard of your risk — you’re a moron. There is no other word for it and Darwin will see to you.
To all of the Humans who are returning to their jobs and their businesses — I wish you all the best. I wish you most of all good health and safety for yourselves and your loved ones. I wish you financial security and abundance in these times of want. I wish you peace in the chaos.
I want you to know though — I will not be leaving my home to be a patron of any of your establishments. Not because I wish any ill will to you — but because I have come this far into the plague and survived. And I plan to keep doing just that.
I’m ok with sheltering in place. I’m ok with wearing masks — as a former OR nurse — wearing a mask now and then is a chip shot — please don’t even go there with me. I’m ok with All. The. Things.
Because I believe the stories the nurses write. Of All. The. Things. you can always — always believe the nurses. Listen to them.