It is not you. It was never you. It was always her. Them. All of them. You deserved love and protection and safety. You were just a kid.

That is what I tell myself. Sometimes I get to the part where —’ they did the best they could with the tools they had’ and even, ‘they did better than my grandparents did for them’. But … it doesn’t excuse them. And I don’t have to forgive them.

We have permission not to forgive them.

Self discovery in progress, stay tuned