I think those who have had abuse at the hands of one gender or the other can not tolerate the thought of The Divine ‘being’ that gender. And so — the pronoun used is the opposite gender. The gender who does not hold the horror — the one which does not trigger. Whether it be Mother or Father images… Male or Female. You make excellent points in that — The Divine simply is. It is our minds which need to see a gender and define Her as such. ;) Because we need the safety of knowing The Divine is not that which has harmed us.
So The Divine becomes what we need — as always. A balm of love to heal us from the wounds of our life. Until we can move towards more growth and see the larger perspective, brought to us by those whom She/He/They have sent.