I get it. The second funeral I ever attended was my mother's. It was a nightmare. My aunt trying to climb into the coffin, my cousins telling dirty jokes in the corner - over the top reactions to death. And the grief of my family prominently on display for mass consumption.

I vowed not to have a funeral, but when we lost The Irishman during lockdown and I couldn't go to his funeral - it broke my heart into even smaller pieces. I grieved alone - hundreds of miles away. For many - that closure, even in the midst of chaos - is necessary for peace.

I've told my kids to do whatever helps them get through. My only request is to be cremated. Even as a corpse - I think I'd still be claustrophobic.