How To Fall In Love — Again

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Photo by 7 SeTh on Unsplash

Relationships can be All. The. Things. Each couple defines theirs according to who they are and what they need.

Often over the past few months my SO and I have turned to each other and realized — we are not a ‘Normal’ couple. The circumstances which brought us together were completely arranged and rearranged and arranged yet again by The Universe until I cried “Uncle!” and went out with him. Stubborn Witch that I am!

Every day we find some weird quirk or parallel in our life stories and the Echo — “Soul Mate” sounds in our brains like The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

He even drinks his damn coffee the same way I do — which is MASSIVELY convenient as I can just grab a drag off his cup any time I want if mine is empty.

My SO is an empathic sort. Wired to pick up on all the subtleties. So he knew way before I told him about all My Shadows. He informed me My Shadows are ‘adorable’. I was shocked! How could he love those parts of me that I struggle so hard to keep under wraps and out of sight?

We think we present our best selves to those we love — at least we try our best to most of the time. But Life happens, stress happens, sickness happens — and the curtain slips. The lie we tell ourselves is they won’t love us anymore if they see our Darkness or come to meet our Shadow Selves. We try so desperately to keep those pieces of ourselves we have not made peace with out of sight — we never realize how much a part of us they really are.

When I looked into his eyes — at His Shadows. (Which by the way — are adorable.) I finally began to understand.

We were not a “Normal” couple. We are Morticia and Gomez. He would never ask me to forsake My Shadows, never reject me because I embraced My Demons, but would love me all the more because I was the sum of My Life — All. The. Things.

In all the relationships I’ve had — this is the first time someone has seen all of me. Real Ann. Without flinching.

As deeply as I loved him before I understood — I fell in love with him again. The Fear of him knowing who I really was — irrational — but real — was gone. He had known all along.


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Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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