HAHAHA! Then there’s the lie. :) Nurses know — everyone lies about something. How much do you drink a week? a 6 pack? Double that. Do you smoke? “I’ve cut down to 1/2 a pack per day” — means I’m still smoking but I don’t want you to think I’m a weak Human addicted to nicotine — so I’ll let you know that I’m on my way to ‘quitting’. Even if I never get there.

How tall are you? Add an inch & it lowers your BMI.

When was the last time you ate? More people lied to me about that the morning of their surgery than I can count. I could spot a liar about this violation a mile away. I’d follow up with — because if you ate after midnight — once we put you to sleep — you could die. Then they would blanche. Or sweat. Better than a polygraph.

When did your symptoms start? Ask the wife. Because sure as shit — they started 3 days ago — NOT last night. And she’s been trying to get them to call you for over 72 hours.

Ask the kiddo — What did you eat last? Because the parent thinks it’s all cool — but THE KIDDO ate a french fry they found in their car seat on the way to their surgery.

It’s a bit like playing Sherlock Holmes. :)

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