Its been several months since I was knocked off my proverbial ass by The Universe and not so politely requested to have a bit of a life review. Pondering that whole situation, I wonder if Saint Paul had the same thing happen to him? Maybe he wasn’t really riding on a donkey to Damascus after all, maybe he just got knocked on his butt metaphorically by the powers that be and he took a different path. Who really knows?
But I digress. What strikes me most about going forth with a more relaxed philosophy is not so much the letting go of the debris of my life, its the waiting and opening up for the stuff coming into it which is the tricky bit.
Honestly, patience isn’t my strong suit. And I’ve always been of the mind, if you want something done right, do it yourself. So here I sit, just hanging out, following my intuition, watching the signs and flowing with The Universe. There are moments I am sure I have lost my mind.
But then all at once something will click, in a way I just could never have imagined. Or a minor (or major) miracle will show up on my doorstep, just to show me it’s okay to live a vulnerable existence. Leave your shields down, She’s got this.
Its really far easier to let go of what needs to go. Eventually you get tired of one sided relationships, jobs that suck the life out of you, toxic family members and you find if you just loosen your hold on the thread — it will simply unravel. Wait for it. If you don’t text them, they don’t text you. If you don’t give 110%, your life at work stops draining you dry. If you respond with kind, firm, boundaries to your family, they grow weary of attempting to suck you into their dramas. And it all goes away. Poof.
However, the stuff that needs to come to you, that is an active process. You have to open the door. You need to see it, acknowledge it, welcome it into your life. Be ready for it and let it in. The new job opportunity will appear, but you still have to submit the resume. The new relationship has to be cultivated. The gift of a grandchild will split your heart wide open. But you have to show up.
Living life and listening to your inner wisdom isn’t a passive existence so much as a guided tour. You can do this on your own, but you’ll miss all the best spots that the locals know about. I’m traveling lighter these days and enjoying the view from the passenger seat.