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Photo by Suresh Kumar on Unsplash

This is what she told me and hands down it’s one of the best pieces of advice my older daughter has ever given me.

Actually — that anyone has ever given me.

“The Noise” she was referring to in this particular instance was The Noise of other people in my world. And the assumptions I had been making about where I stood with them. I was loosing my footing in my Now and slipping into judgement of Real Ann. I was allowing what other people might think or believe about me to color my own perceptions.

Have I mentioned I have wise, brilliant daughters?

Because when I turned to The Noise and told it to fuck off — I saw again who I really was, independent of what anyone else thought about me, my actions, my motives, my anything. I saw her again — Real Ann. I saw all the things I loved about being myself — my true self — following my own path — on my own journey.

I also saw the gifts of my Real Tribe. I know the people who will show up for me no matter what. I know the names and phone numbers of all those who will bail me out of anything — from a minor mishap to needing actual bail money.

And those people do not contribute to The Noise. They are a buffering field to that place. They pour compassion and acceptance over me. They give me love and wise counsel. They listen to me with kindness and hold me with tenderness. They allow my vulnerability and cheer my courage.

They are The Melody which plays in the background of my life and keeps me on track and supports all my best adventures. They are so far from The Noise it’s completely ridiculous.

The next morning after the conversation with my daughter, I got up and faced my day. I told The Noise, “Not today, Bitch”. I turned up The Melody and did what I needed to do to survive the things I needed to survive.

The day unfolded — and as expected — stuff went down. The moments of disillusionment happened. People were who they really were. But it was not a surprise and I didn’t take any of it personally. In the end — I focused on The Melody — not The Noise.

And the real gift in all of this. The wisdom of a kind and loving daughter who grew into one of the most resonant notes in The Melody of my life.


Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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