Dearest Dennett - I think any of us who have lived long enough start to figure this out. Especially the part about our inner critic. But it's really tough to avoid shoulds. I remember sitting on my therapist's couch telling him that I should do more yoga. He was the first one to point out to me that even with the best of intentions we can punish (ourselves & others) with the word should. <3 I hope you will be kind to Dennett - she's one of my favorite people. <3