I know it’s been a long time since I wrote to you. I apologize for the lapse in communication. You probably get that a lot. We grown-ups think we have our shit…er stuff together and can ‘do’ Christmas all on our own. Without you.
I know, I can imagine you laughing with your tummy jiggling like a bowl full of jelly from all the way down here in North Carolina.
I’m sure you’ve been watching us from your excellent vantage point at the North Pole and see the mess we are in — here in the rest of the world. People have just gone crazy.
The thing is — I don’t think we grown-ups can pull off Christmas this year on our own. We are just so full of angst and fear and distrust and sometimes outright hatred for our fellow Humans. All. The. Things. which run counter to what The Holidays and your spirit stand for.
We really need a hand this year because we have completely fucked...er messed it all up all.
I know as you’re contemplating your Bad List — please take into account that the kids simply don’t have that many decent role models among us anymore. It’s not their fault. We are the ones not teaching them how to be good Humans. So please — give the kids a buy this year. They’re only little kids.
You know me, Santa. I love Christmas. It’s my very favorite season. I wait every year for December to arrive and then I revel in it. For the whole month.
But this year something is terribly wrong. Even I am affected. I actually had a conversation last night with My Person about buying an artificial Christmas tree.
I know right? Me! Artificial Christmas tree! This is how bad the Joy Meter has sunk to down here!
I’m writing to you because I haven’t had anything on my Christmas List that I couldn’t just order from Amazon or buy at the mall in decades.
But this year, I do.
We need you, Santa. Our world is almost completely devoid of the giving, joy-filled spirit. We need some ‘starter’ so we can ‘grow’ Joy again. So we can ‘grow’ Charity again. So we can ‘grow’ Love again.
Please Santa — if you could — please bring me The Gift of Giving Of Oneself With Joy And Love — the ‘starter’ — that I can grow all during 2020. And while you’re at it — drop some down the chimney of every single house you visit on Christmas Eve.
Please and Thank You, Santa.
With much Love,
PS. Please forgive the four-letter words. My damn…er darn auto-correct hates me.