Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Ivan Stern on Unsplash

You have a choice. You always have a choice.

What you feel does not control you.

That is a hard lesson to swallow. But say it with me.

If you have a feeling — you do not need to act on it.

You do not have to be passive aggressive to your employees.

You do not have to be controlling with your kids.

You do not have to say that inappropriate thing to the person at the bar, in your workplace, or at a party.

You do not have to touch, push, hit, or even hug, kiss, or caress other humans who do not wish for your attentions.

You do not have give another driver the finger while safely sitting in your ‘cage’.

You do not have to take your pain, anger, frustration, or even hunger out on anyone around you.

You do not have to take the ‘safe’ people — the ones you love most in the world — and turn them into your enemies just to ‘prove’ you are unloveable.

You — and you alone — are responsible for your behavior.

I am not. Your mother is not. Your wife is not. Your ex is not. Society is not. Women are not. We are not.

It is not my job to hold your boundaries. It is not my job to avoid triggering you. It is not my job to do anything but do ‘me’.

It is your job to get your collective shit together and keep it there.

It is completely YOUR job in this life to not be an asshole. There is no award for that. And truthfully — it’s just not that fucking hard.

I spent a lot of time in a therapist’s office to learn those lessons. To learn that I could never — not in a million years — not with all the magic I possessed turn an asshole back into a human.

They have to choose to do that themselves.

“You had the power all along, my dear.” — Glenda The Good Witch.


Written by

Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store