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Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

Welcome. Please take a seat and get comfortable — or as comfortable as you can, because this is your warning — the topic of this class makes everyone very uncomfortable.

We are here to discuss Boundaries.

A few key points about Boundaries:

You should have them, in fact, you should never leave home without them.

Having Boundaries does not make you mean. Just the opposite actually. By having established, firm Boundaries people know what to expect. It aides those who interact with you so they have a much clearer picture of just how much bullshit you’re willing to tolerate.

You can hold a Boundary in a kind manner without being an asshole or a bitch — gender dependent here. It won’t matter if the Equal Rights Amendment gets passed one day — women will always be bitches, men will always be assholes. Especially to the people who encroach upon boundaries. So perhaps that first statement is incorrect. Let me rephrase — to the people who are oblivious as to the nature of personal Boundaries — you will ALWAYS seem like an asshole or a bitch. Allow me to reassure you. You are not.

When holding a Boundary you do not need to explain or make excuses for why you feel it necessary to hold/have/maintain said Boundary. No one is entitled to any further information about your Boundary other than the word “No” — which BTW is a complete sentence.

You are allowed to walk away from/unfriend/block/or otherwise distance yourself from people who engage you in annoying/wordy/obtuse commentary regarding their feelings about your Boundaries. Because those individuals are simply fucking exhausting. And see above.

Boundaries exist in mentally healthy people to keep them from hurting the general population who tend to behave like morons upon occasion. If you exercise firm Boundaries you can nip idiocy in the bud before it negatively impacts your mood/life/desire to consume large quantities of adult beverages.

Profanity is always appropriate and usually the preferred method of communication when establishing a Boundary.

If you have questions regarding the formation of Boundaries you are advised to befriend a Sagittarius. Or an 8 on the Enneagram Personality Test. They hold PhDs in Boundary Setting. Lucky for you, class, I am a double major in those fields. Which explains why I am qualified to teach this class.

Questions may be submitted via the comments tab. Thank you and have a magical day.

One last thing:

Before you leave the room — Please put your empty water bottles in the recycle bin and throw out any candy wrappers in the trash. I am not the fucking cleaning lady. {Yes boys and girls — this is an example of setting a Boundary}

Namaste.

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Self discovery in progress, stay tuned

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