Or Don’t Tell Me To Be Calm And Carry On!
I am a World Class Fretter. If Fretting were an Olympian event — I’d have taken the gold every time. Every. Fucking. Time.
I started early. When I was a child I used to fret about whether my parents would come home safe if they went somewhere far away. Like to visit my grandmother (my mother) or on a hunting excursion (my father).
As a wife and mother — I added my family’s well being to my fretting agenda.
Anxiety is the training ground for fretting. If you have an anxiety disorder — your brain sits around imagining scenarios WHICH NEVER HAPPEN 100% OF THE TIME. And yet — you cannot help yourself. You fret.
And that — in a nutshell — is the most fascinating thing about fretting.
Life never happens the way you think it’s going to.
All the dire stuff you imagine befalling you and yours is NOT the stuff which actually transpires and spins Your Reality out. Nope.
You get different lessons. The ones you haven’t studied for, or rehearsed in your mind a million times. You. Never. See. It. Coming.
So — why fret? Right? I mean think about it. The story you’re telling yourself in your head is so unlikely — no one is going to bet on it. NO. ONE.
The events/people/situations in Your Life which are going to go sideways are:
#1 Valuable lessons — which BTW will be repeated. So pay attention the first go round so you don’t get stuck in a jacked up version of Ground Hog Day From Hell. Or at the very minimum recurring nightmares with a distinct after taste of Deja vu.
#2 Not the least bit influenced by your anxiety/fretting levels. You can tell yourself staying awake all night until your kid pulls in the driveway IS the reason they made it home safe and sound. But it’s not. The reason they made it home ok was a much more complex cocktail which involved sound decision making on their part/decent parenting skills on your part/and lastly the fact it simply was NOT their day to die. That last bit — is a complete crapshoot in Everyone’s Life.
#3 Won’t even be on your radar. You will never see it coming. Yes, I’m repeating myself here. Because this is the vital piece of the message. Your imagination will never be able to come up with the crazy-ass shit The Universe will throw at you in Your Life. Am I right? How many times in retelling a particular out there kind of story have you heard yourself say, “No lie dude — I can’t make this stuff up!” Because you can’t.
We all have the supportive realists in Our Lives who are able to take Life as it comes. Likely they have paid their Karmic debt a few hundred lifetimes ago and are here simply on a bit of spiritual vaca. Their soul work is done. They exist as examples to the rest of us. To let us know we, too, can just chill.
Take it from me — telling someone who is fretting to relax, go with the flow, be calm works about as well as giving a cat a bath. But deep down we also know fretting only makes you annoying to be around. No one wants to hang out with someone who is constantly in The Sky Is Falling Mode. Those people are exhausting!
We all have to find our sweet spot — our inner place of Keep Calm & Carry On — for ourselves. It’s part of Our Life’s Work to settle Our Brains and meld them with Our Souls.
We can learn to let go of All. The. Things. we fucked up in our yesterdays. Shit happens.
We can learn to let go of All. The. Things. we are afraid of in our tomorrows. Shit will happen.
We can learn to sit in Our Now. With our cup of tea. In between both of Above Said Shit Storms — in the very Eye of The Shit Storms. And embrace that Calm. It is there we will find the strength to…Carry On.