Member-only story
As of 1/7/2020, that’s how long my mother has been dead. When your mother dies and you are still a child there are a lot of things that happen to you along the way in your journey.
The first and foremost thing you feel is the releasing of your mooring. Along with the grief, all the adults around you are suffering from, you have a sense that you have been cast adrift. At sea. Alone. No navigation system. No rudder. No engine. No radar. No one to answer your S.O.S. You will be facing Life’s storms alone.
Plus the grief all the adults around you are feeling for the absence of someone you all loved dearly.
As you go through said Life with said storms — you learn. You sink and you swim. Depending on how competent your father might be, you also might be keeping him from drowning as well. Or one day — you might just have to let go of him to save yourself. Because you finally realize — above all else — the most important thing to your mother would have been for YOU to survive. So you do.
In Your Life, there are moments when you miss her with every fiber of your being. The graduations, The marriages, the birth of your children — oh my Goddess — the birth of your children — it damn near kills you that she isn’t there for this. How can YOU be a mother without HER there to teach you?
