“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves” — Carl Jung
There is the new list going around Medium lately — the opposite of “The 40 Things I Love” post. It’s appropriately titled “The 40 Things I Hate (Dislike/Am Annoyed By/Etc) “ post.
I have pondered it for some time and in truth — cannot come up with 40 things which flip my switch. Did I mention I have a very good therapist? I meditate. I’ve practiced yoga for nearly 20 years. I love my job/co-workers/bosses. And I live alone. All those things take the day to day frustrations out of My Life.
I believe from reading other’s posts, when we start talking about the stuff we dislike in Life — we give more of ourselves away than when we discuss all the sparkly joy joy shit we have going on. Our shadows never lie — to us or anyone who happens to be in listening range.
When we begin to pull the masks off and let down our guards — the parts of ourselves recognize themselves in others. And THAT really pisses us off. Because we like to pretend there is no Darkness within us.
Seeing a reflection of our own Shadow played out can trigger us like no one’s business. We see it all the time. My father and I shared a stubborn streak a mile wide and it lead to a very difficult relationship. My younger daughter and I are both alpha personalities and we struggled at times to give each other quarter. I worked with a nurse who had OCD worse than I do and we would trigger each other over and over simply because of a complete inability to be flexible.
There were lessons for me to learn in every situation I mention. When you’re making your list of “The 40 Things I Hate (Dislike/Am Annoyed By/Etc)” perhaps it might be best to also ask yourself — “Why does this particular thing/person/situation piss me off so much?” Go beyond the acceptance of the thing/person/situation as it stands. Invite your Shadow out into the Light for a chat.
I’m not going to share my list — it’s annoyingly short anyway. It is not made up of things/persons/situations but behaviors and the behaviors are mine to deal with. Reactions which I must learn to cope with. Power and energy I give away when it would be more prudent to pause in the moment.
Life is a balancing act. There must always be Yin and Yang. Light and Dark. We cannot ignore our Dark Sides. They will sneak out and show themselves to us over and over demanding recognition and acknowledgment. You can make book on it.
May you find yourself in Your Darkness and embrace it. And as you do, may your list of “The 40 Things I Hate (Dislike/Am Annoyed By/Etc)” shrink with each passing moment of recognition.